RIP Whitney Houston – Sunshine in a little girls dark





When I was a young girl my mum with my new step father moved the Lincolnshire taking me with them. Until that time I was unaware that I was even black…don’t laugh when I say that but what I mean when I write it is that I was surrounded by friends of different colours and nothing was strange about that. Until that time I saw myself as me and that was that. Lincoln was nothing like that. I was in the minority and suddenly being black was not a good thing, I was taught by other children, their parents and even teachers that I was ugly, my hair was nasty, my lips were too big and no one would ever want to be my friend or even like me. I remember even going to a school friend’s home and her dad saying he is not having a little ‘N’ in his house. It was all a huge change and I never felt so alone. 


Looking back, because of all of this I started to develop a  low self esteem. My mum worked full time and long hours and I really believed had she had more time she would have picked up on it and made some changes but hey, some people have it harder. 


When I talked about what I would be when I grew up people actually used to laugh at me and say “you can’t do that because you are black….there are no black ‘insert profession here’. This is probably why when I got a bit older I left that place as fast as possible never to return! 


Around this time to my saving grace I discovered music and my favourite artist was Whitney Huston. I don’t want to sound like everyone else when I say she really was a huge inspiration for me. That’s why I really support the idea that famous people do end up being role models whether they like it or not. 


Watching her sing or on TV made me sit back and believe that black girls like me could be and do anything, honestly it did. She was so beautiful to me and of course I copied her style and as I started to feel that I looked good, my self esteem grew. She lifted me up during those times and I really want to thank her for that. 


I also thank her for my own voice; I know that by learning all her songs off by heart and singing them time and time again in my hairbrush developed a pretty good singing voice in me. 


Today my heart is broken and I am truly devastated to learn of her passing I literally shed tears when I heard the news. I think of her family and her daughter and I pray that she rests in peace.

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Comments

  1. Whitney was so undeniably talented and beautiful. Still can’t believe she’s gone. I totally loved what you said about growing up listening to her and how insoirational she was to so many women. May she rest in perfect peace.

  2. She will be so missed! Rest in Peace Whitney.

  3. May she rest in peace. This is a really beautiful post. Its shocking when I read or hear about what relations in this country was like a few years go. It’s come a long way but of course there is still room for improvement. Thanks for sharing.

  4. Whitney was a beautiful person, she had a beautiful pure voice that God had given to her. I too was very angry when I heard her death. May she rest in peace and raise in God’s glory and that was a lovely peace, you shared with us.